Ahlus Sunnah wal Jamaah

the empire strikes back…

Haven’t they ever watched Animal Planet before?

Posted by abu ameerah on Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Here’s a conspiracy (theory) I bet you never saw coming. I mean, there are conspiracies and then there are conspiracies. I have no idea what to make of this one. Well, it seems that local residents in the southern Iraqi city of Basra have recently accused the British military of releasing a number of badgers among the populace in order to “sow panic.” The residents, it seems, have chosen to ignore the 4+ year old military occupation of their country…chosen to ignore the daily death and destruction that has been visited upon their nation…and have chosen to ignore the many infrastructural failures that plauge Iraq.

Instead the residents of Basra have chosen to target Mellivora capensis, also known as the honey badger. The honey badger, as it is commonly known, does indeed have a reputation for being a ferocious albeit little predator — and it is even known to kill (large) python and venemous snakes. However, dear readers, I find it unlikely that the honey badger is the newest weapon in the British military arsenal. C’mon…think about it for a moment…the Queen’s Army supposedly raising a super vicious breed of badger to terrorize the people of Iraq. Who needs a bagder anyway, when we already had a “poodle” like former PM Tony Blair to do plenty-ah-terrorizin’ in Iraq.

I also doubt that the British are using these wild beasts to provoke tension with Muqtada al Sadr and his Mahdi Army (Jaish al Mahdi). The likelihood of the honey badger being part of some broader military strategy on the part of the British is about as probable as ME being the recipient of an Honorary Doctorate from Oxford in the field of Neuropsychopharmacology.

I have no clue as to what the Shia of Basra were thinking with this conspiracy theory. Perhaps this was some kind of ill-conceived ploy at defending al Sadr and his thugs. Perhaps, the reason we haven’t seen or heard much from al Sadr recently is due to this wild outbreak of feral beast. Perhaps al Sadr is trying to negociate some kind of political resolution vis-a-vis elements of the Sunni insurgency and the Supreme Council for The Honey Badger Political Revolution In Iraq (SCHBPRII)? Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Or, is it possible that the mighty Mahdi Army has simply been routed from the field of battle by these curious little creatures? I mean, would they really stand a chance in a one-on-one battle against this worthy foe? I think not! (lol) I can just picture Mahdi militia types running through the streets of Basra, having dropped their Iranian made RPG’s, shouting — “The Badgers are coming! THE BADGERS ARE COMING!”

Continue reading: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/6295138.stm

More on Honey Badgers:

http://magma.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0409/feature6/index.html?fs=www7.nationalgeographic.com

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“Ay you! Yeah, YOU! You talkin’ tah me? I mean…I saw you over there lookin’ at me. You wanna piece ah me? You want somma dis? Alright…it’s freakin’ GO TIME PAL!”

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One Response to “Haven’t they ever watched Animal Planet before?”

  1. Seems like you are a true pro. Did ya study about the issue? lawl

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